I often tell my coaching clients that if they want to reach their full potential, they’ve got to break the habits that aren’t doing them any favours. Warren Buffett seems to be on board with this premise.
Habits either move us forward or hold us back; most of us know which ones might be getting in our way. Buffett put it more bluntly years ago when he talked about overcoming arguably the biggest stumbling block leaders face. He said:
You’ve got to be able to communicate in life, and it’s enormously important. Schools, to some extent, under-emphasize that. If you can’t communicate and talk to other people and get across your ideas, you’re giving up your potential.
The No. 1 Most Common Bad Habit
I’ve seen plenty of smart, well-meaning managers struggle with people issues, and they often have one bad habit in common: ineffective communication.
Sometimes, it’s worth taking a closer look at the things we’re doing that keep us from communicating at our best.
I’ve advised hundreds of clients over the years about their communication shortcomings. Here’s what not to do:
1. Talk more than you listen
Effective communication isn’t just about talking; great conversationalists listen intuitively to the other person’s story, ask questions, and search conversations for depth, meaning, and understanding.
This takes the skill of being present and in the moment. This means that you don’t need to talk over others to get your point across, which works to your advantage. When you truly listen, you hear peoples’ objections, anxieties, and fears, as well as the solution to problems.
2. Hide behind your digital comfort zone
The digital era has caused a slow degeneration in our ability to communicate verbally. This affects all generations, not just Gen-Zers. As a Gen-Xer, I fully admit that being connected 24/7 to mobile apps, texting, email, and social media has become a crutch. The speed of text-based communication is certainly convenient, but I need to guard against diminishing my ability to verbally engage colleagues and clients when necessary.
While I’m speaking for me, most of us can probably relate. If this rings true for you, it means you need to courageously step out of your digital comfort zone to deal directly with the unpredictability of human emotions. This is what past generations used to do, and it’s often the quickest route in cutting through conflict or setting clear expectations with intention if you’re a leader.
3. Talk too fast
Body language experts I’ve spoken with say the ideal speed for taking in info is around 170 to 190 words per minute. So, if we’re speaking at less than 170 words per minute, we might come across as a bit too slow, and we risk losing our listener’s attention. In short, speed it up!
But speeding up isn’t always the best move—especially if we’re discussing something complex. For those situations, do the opposite: Slow down and focus on making sure things are clear. Otherwise, you’ll likely see that “deer in the headlights” look. Even worse, if you go over 210 words per minute, there’s a good chance your listener might just mentally check out.
The takeaway? If you’re teaching or conveying new information, take it slow so people can keep up. But if it’s a regular casual conversation or no fresh information or knowledge needs to be attained, pick up the pace a bit.
Communication—in whatever form—remains the best tool for success. This explains why Buffett keeps telling students everywhere he speaks to keep learning to communicate better. “Your results in life will be magnified if you can communicate them better,” he tells them.
It also helps to explain why the only diploma Buffett still hangs in his office is the communications diploma he got from Dale Carnegie Institute in 1952.
